Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
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Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
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What’s the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I love u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
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Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!